You Chose This Life

Whether you like it or not, your life is the way it is because of the choices you’ve made. You have no one else to blame except yourself. I’ve recently realized this.

Bad news is there’s nothing you can do to change those choices; it’s over and done with. It is what it is. The good news that you can start making choices to change your life into one that better suits your style.

Besides being an entrepreneur with my dad, my entire professional career has consisted of jobs that I took to get away from the job that I had. I knew I didn’t want the job I had but I didn’t know what I wanted instead.

When shit hit the fan with our business, I had to scramble to get a job; any job. It was difficult for a dude in his early 20s with no degree and nothing besides entrepreneurial experience to get a gig so I started out delivering newspapers. If you’ve ever done it before you know it sucks; the hours, the pay, the monotony, etc. I hated that after a couple of months so my friend got me a job at a fast food Mexican restaurant. The lack of hours, the shit pay, and smelling like tacos all day got old so I asked my mom who worked at a bank to get me a job.

I went to college with the idea that I wanted to go into the Financial industry. Why? Because that’s where the money’s at and I didn’t have much money to begin with! I did it for selfish reasons. I wanted to learn everything I could about Finance, make a shit ton of money for a couple years, and retire with my savings and my knowledge and just do what I please for the rest of my life. I’d be set.

Even though my mom never wanted me to go into banking, I figured it couldn’t be too bad because it beats smelling like tacos.

And that’s where I’ve been ever since. It was great at first because I was doing something new and I felt like I was actually making a difference in people’s financial lives.

But that changed. I was told to treat people differently because of how much money was in their bank accounts. We started to push products instead of doing what was right for the customer. (Why does a 90 year-old lady need a credit card?!)

It wasn’t fun anymore. Every day was a challenge to get through. My graduation was coming up soon so I’d just have to suck it up a little longer….sell my soul for just a couple more weeks.

Graduation was inching closer so I took the leap and quit. My degree (in Finance) was supposed to help me get that awesome internship and then progress my career in the field.

But something was missing. I felt empty inside. I kept on asking myself, “there’s gotta be more to life than this.” I always wanted to make a difference but that got pushed to the wayside for money.

Obviously that internship didn’t work out and I’m back where I started. I landed a couple interviews at other financial institutions and took those. I left all those interviews a bit jaded. Instead of feeling like I could actually help people with their finances, all that truly mattered to these businesses was who I knew and how much money I could bring to the respective company. They wanted to use me for my contacts and I was just another cog in the machine. I couldn’t live with myself if I did that.

So I’ve been in a dead end job ever since. I tried and tried to convince myself that this was okay; that I was content because the money is good. But that’s bullshit. It’s made me miserable. I was a shell of the person I was and I felt empty inside. Even worse, I made my wife miserable because I didn’t want to do anything but feel sorry for myself.

I thought about trying for a promotion because at least I’d be doing something different and it would mean a little more money…but it would still be the same corporate bullshit if not worse.

Maybe getting an MBA would be the way to go? This way I could get paid more and it’ll all be worth it! I mean I already got a Bachelor’s Degree in Finance so I might as well stay in the field, right?

I’ve been following money and this is where it’s gotten me.

It’s all my fault. I chose to chase the money. I chose to go to school because that’s what I was told would make me “successful.” I chose to go back to school because everyone said a degree would be the way to get ahead in life. I chose to try to convince myself that this was what life was all about. I chose to be content at my shit job. I chose to do nothing about it. I chose to feel numb. I chose to put my life on auto-pilot.

Fuck that shit, man.

You won’t get yesterday back. Today is another opportunity to change course; to improve your life. Everyday is a new opportunity to get yourself in a better spot than where you were the day before. Epic shit can happen everyday.

There’s no need to put off living. There’s no need to feel sorry for yourself.

Sure, you put yourself into this position but you can also get yourself out.

You just have to commit. You have to have a plan. You have to take action. Just do it. Do something. You’ll feel better about yourself tomorrow if you do.

Put a little effort into your dream each day and you’ll eventually achieve it.

There is no such thing as overnight success. That athlete you see on television making millions? They didn’t get there by sitting on their ass. They’ve sacrificed more than you can imagine. They’ve dealt with numerous set backs. They made due with what they’ve been given in life. Sure, some of it is natural talent, but a lot more has to do with your mental abilities and your attitude.

It’s mostly mental, man.

You’re your own biggest competition and your own worst enemy. If you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.

I came across this saying the other day and it really resonated with me: “If you lay one brick a day, you’ll eventually end up with a house.”

Keep laying that brick on your dream and it’ll eventually become a reality. You’ll eventually become unstuck with where you’re at and your life will improve.

Bad news is though, that it’s all up to you. It’s all up to you.

No more blaming it on things you can’t control. It’s not the economy, it’s not the lack of money, it’s not the lack of time , it’s not because you don’t have a degree, it’s not because you don’t have the connections, and it’s not because the timing isn’t right. It’s not because of whatever other bullshit excuse you can come up with.

It’s because you’re blaming everything else except yourself and your inability to take action….any kind of action that will actually allow you to achieve your dream.

You chose this life. You chose to be okay with it. You chose to have this dead end job. You chose to keep your idea in your head. You chose to do everything you’ve been told to do.

Everyday you chose not to do anything is a wasted opportunity. Everyday you chose not to do anything is another day that you’re choosing to lead a miserable existence.

It’s all your fault.

Once you realize this, you’re free.

You start to see things differently. You start to really think about what’s important. You start to really work on creating the life you really want to be living.

You might overestimate what you can do in one day, but you’ll underestimate what you can do over the course of your life. But just do something. Keep laying those bricks!

But until you take ownership of your circumstances, they’ll never improve. In fact, they’ll probably get worse.

Man the fuck up and realize that you’ve created this mess of a life but realize that you have everything you’d ever need to improve it. You have the power to change your world.

You don’t have anyone to blame except for yourself.

Just get to work and start laying those bricks.

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11 comments

  1. Love this! I took charge of my life about a year ago when I quit the job that was making me miserable in order to pursue my dreams. I’m not yet making as much money as I used to make, but I’m 80 million times happier! Getting unstuck and moving on felt incredible.

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    • That’s awesome! I’m happy for you. I’m hoping to do the same relatively soon. Not totally sure about my time from but hoping in 1-5 years. Thanks for stopping by!

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  2. Taking charge of your own destiny is for sure a fundamental starting point to reaching one’s goals and succeeding in life. Thanks for the blunt wake-up call!

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  3. I enjoyed reading this article and must say it is so true. I have had many jobs in my lifetime and have met many folks who were very talented and could not understand why they chose to continue at the same job even though they clearly hated it. For some fear of the unknown kept them from bettering their lives and others lacked the courage to take the steps to a better future. In the end it’s up to you to believe in yourself or chose to live the same miserable life. Great article!

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    • Thanks for reading and thanks for the comment! The reasons you mentioned are certainly true.For me, I think it was mainly because I didn’t know what I wanted to do instead. I sincerely hope you’re doing something you enjoy!

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