Things Change, People Change, You Change

Today marks my 3 year anniversary working at a major US bank.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

Before I left with the hopes of doing a “lucrative” internship, I wanted to move up the corporate ladder. I was supposed to be a Personal Banker by now at the very least. Sure, I’m an introvert and I despise sales but that was just the next step in the natural progression up the corporate ladder at the bank I work at. Plus, I’d be making a shit ton more money and more money would make me happy, right?

Between being a Personal Banker and me just getting a Bachelor’s degree in Finance, I’d be on the short list to being employed by an investment firm next. I’d get a fat signing bonus and I’d be close to making 6 figures a year. I’d be set.

But shit happens and things change.

I’ve started to realize that moving up the corporate ladder won’t make me happy so that’s no longer the goal; no longer the plan.

I was so adamant of becoming a hot shot investment banker that I didn’t realize how good I had it. I got promoted 3 times within a year earlier in my career and I always wanted more; I wasn’t happy with just being a vault teller or just being a Sales & Service Specialist (half Teller, half Personal Banker.)

I never took the time to fully appreciate the journey and appreciate my co-workers. Everything came easy to me; sometimes maybe a little too easy. In hindsight, I probably didn’t work hard enough for what I got, but I got it; positions that some would only dream of having. I was an ungrateful little shit.

I could have had it all by now; an MBA, investment licenses, a fancy car, “prestige,” and whatever bullshit reason I could try to talk myself into making it worth it to be miserable; to not be myself; to be unhappy with who I am and who I’ve become. I could have it all, but I don’t want any of it. I just want to be happy and spend my time doing what I choose to do.

People that I came in contact with would always think I’m “going places.” But they only knew half the story. I never smiled at home, I never lived in the moment, and I hated who I was becoming….a sell-out who used to be adventurous; someone who wanted to be an entrepreneur and truly make a difference in the world, but hey, you change and you grow up, right? Dolla, dolla bills, y’all! You have to sacrifice to become who you truly want to become, right?

Except I was a shell of my former self and I was miserable.

Good thing that was all a couple of months ago; before the start of this blog. I’m back at the bank again but with a new plan and a new outlook.

Instead of doing whatever I can to move up the “corporate ladder,” I’m content with where I’m at in my profession; content but not comfortable. I do what I’m supposed to do and I go home with a smile on my face. Instead of putting extra time, energy, and effort into getting promoted, I put that to good use with this blog.

I’m more than my job title now. There’s much more to life than a career. It’s a part of me but it’s not all of me.

So what should you do if you’re finding yourself in the same boat? It’s simple, just stop for a moment and think: are you happy with who you’re becoming?

If not, it’s time to change the path you’re on; it’s time to have fun again and be happy. It’s time to challenge yourself. It might be time to move on.

Leave that shit job. Or better yet, work on something meaningful in your spare time. Get your ass off the couch and start working on that idea that’s been in your head for who knows how long. Build something for you to eventually escape to after you quit your shit job!

Sure, a job provides you with an income so you can survive; so you can pay your bills, eat, and have a place to sleep. But it’s not worth it to make yourself miserable. It’s a means to an end but it’s not the end all, be all.

Stop trying to convince yourself that something needs to happen before you start to work on your idea; that you have to have a certain amount of money or reach a certain age or whatever other excuse you can think of to avoid taking action.

Just do it.

That’s what I’m doing.

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