Sometimes Not Getting What You Wanted Was Exactly What You Needed

Did you just get turned down for a job that you really wanted? Maybe you were even looking at an internship to add to your resume. I almost did one of those..

Or maybe you had your heart set on something like that but you ended up realizing that it just didn’t feel right and you changed your mind last minute?

Well, you can take these kinds of experiences in two ways: negatively or positively.

I realize this now…

I took my failed internship negatively and this is how it went:

I felt like a piece of shit. I felt like something was wrong with me. Why did you turn down an awesome internship that would have looked good on a resume?! It would look a lot better than just being a teller!

Why’d you do such a stupid thing? You have a mortgage, car payments, and a fiancee that depends on you to provide! How could you be so selfish?

I had myself a pity party of one and I was completely miserable. I buried myself in video games and I wasted days sitting on the couch. I didn’t shave and I was looking a hot mess. My pride was hurt. My self-esteem was shot. I was in shock and couldn’t believe what I just did. My fiance knew all along that this wasn’t the right thing for me but I tried to convince myself that I could suck it up for a couple of weeks and I’d be all the better off.

It took myself breaking down one night and my fiance to tell me to “suck it up and quit being a little bitch” to change my attitude and my thinking. So what if the internship didn’t turn into a full-time gig afterwards? It would look good on a resume but what kind of future positions would it attract? Sales positions. I’m an introvert so I fuckin’ hate sales. I despise them. This internship would have been pointless!

And what if it turned into a full-time gig? Well, then I’d have to harass all my friends and family to buy life insurance from me and then I’d have to harass all their friends and family. And if I didn’t, well I wouldn’t eat. I’d be putting in the time and energy but in all the wrong places.

Either way, I’d end up being miserable. What a win-win!

So this is how I’m taking it now:

I’m fuckin’ ecstatic that I didn’t get that internship! Just imagine what I’d be doing right now if I did? I’d be cold calling hundreds of people trying to set up a meeting with me so I can pitch life insurance to them. If they actually said yes, then I’d need to drive to meet them, probably in the evenings, possibly over dinner, that I’d probably have to pay for. I wouldn’t get reimbursed for it! I’d lose money doing this internship! I’d be paying for this thing that would end up making me miserable either way! What a stupid idea!

What am I doing instead with all my time? I’m doing various things to make some income but the majority of my time is spent writing this blog; creating a business. My business. Sure, I probably won’t make much money, if any, for a while, but it would probably be the same way with the internship so I didn’t and don’t really have anything to lose.

I wouldn’t have it any other way. After 8 years of school on and off and almost 3 years working, I finally have time! I’ve tried to write blogs and do something similar to these throughout the years but something always came up. Something always seemed to take precedence. But not anymore!

I can honestly say that I’m the happiest I’ve been in years. I spend my time doing what I want; not dealing with pissed off customers and working with co-workers who are also miserable.

I’m fulfilled. I’m creating what I hope is my legacy. I’m creating something that I think could provide value to many who are in a similar position to me. I feel like I can make a difference. I can express myself. I can inspire. I wake up excited for the day; not just wishing it wasn’t Monday. I’m excited for the opportunities; for all the possibilities. Instead of watching the clock, wishing that the day was already over like I did when I worked, I look at the clock and wish there was more time to get more done.

Instead of being a miserable financial representative (starving life insurance salesman,) I’m a writer. A blogger. How. Fuckin. Cool?!

Sometimes not getting what you wanted was exactly what you needed.

So what if you didn’t get that job or that internship? No point in beating yourself up over it! Maybe it just wasn’t for you? Take a day to feel sorry for yourself but wake up the next day feeling lucky that you didn’t get it. Feel lucky that you have time to do what you want to do. Create the life that you want to lead. Remember, if you control your time, you control your life.

***

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2 comments

  1. “I’m an introvert so I fuckin’ hate sales. I despise them.” This describes me to the T!! There is so much I can relate to in your posts I almost feel like I’m writing them.

    Like

    • I always thought it was just me! I thought being an introvert was a bad thing for the longest time but I’ve learned to own it. I’ve learned to adapt so it’s not a hindrance anymore. There’s plenty of ways we can still get our point across. Glad you can relate; I was hoping to find people just like me by putting myself out there!

      Like

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